Moments in Time
by symphonyofsilence
Summary: Roy/Older Al - Sometimes life takes you to places you never thought you would go. For Al, finding his place in the world turns out to be harder than he first thought.
1. The Prodigal Son Returns

This is probably going to be a chapter story because dang it, I just seem to be incapable of doing a oneshot sometimes.

This is post FMA Brotherhood so spoilery abounds. A secondary warning here for slash, so if that's not your thing I would recommend you hit the back button. For those of you who have come searching for slash, I welcome you with big burly man arms. Thank you to my beta jazz_trousers, you are awesome XD

As per usual, FMA is not mine.

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Alphonse Elric: 20

Early Spring, Central City

I had been trapped in metal for countless years, unaware of the way a clap on the back might jar my shoulder, or how the brush of a lip might make me warm on the inside. I had been lost to those seemingly simple things for so long that it took a great deal of time just to get used to them again. Not just to how the texture of a warm piece of bread slathered thickly with butter might feel on my tongue, or the way exhaustion would suddenly set into my bones, slowing my thoughts and making speech clumsier, but other things. Like the smell of a pretty girl, the feel of her soft, smooth skin, voluptuous curves, bright eyes and soft smiles… But once I was back, I could tell something was different inside me.

It took some time to figure out that there was something… Not quite wrong but not quite right either. To be honest I didn't really understand it, and there wasn't any way to explain it, I just knew I wasn't the same as the other people that surrounded me and loved me. No one treated me differently, I don't think the feeling I had inside was able to be seen, but I could feel it, and it was always there, some constant reminder in the back of my mind that grew from something tiny and insignificant to a problem, however small it may have been.

The Winry I knew and loved, had wanted to marry so long ago, and even fought with brother over was still there, and more than once I had tried to tell myself that this was what I wanted, that _she_ was what I wanted. She was the perfect girl in so many ways. Smart, funny, unafraid to tell someone exactly what she thought and still soft enough and sweet enough to laugh and cry and all those other things young women do. But when I looked at her, that feeling I knew needed to be there in my heart was just- gone. Had it been the Truth? After all those long years of being without my body, had it seeped away those emotions like it had with my muscles and energy?

The unanswered questions filled my head until there were no more words to accompany them, just one unanswered question mark that hung inside my head like the moon in the black of night. I couldn't tell brother. How could I? He had worked so hard, fought so long and with such desperation with every thought and action- I couldn't hurt him like that. If I had told him about it, he might have gone back to the way he was, forgetting about life and friends and future just to get back something that I wasn't even sure how to yet name, risking his life and wellbeing just for me… Again. It killed me on the inside, but I just couldn't do it.

When brother and Winry had finally chosen each other I was happy for them, and secretly relieved to be completely honest. I didn't have to put a show up any longer, and it left me open to search for that missing something that was feeling more and more like a hole inside me, festering without my conscious thought or permission. It left me open to travel, to see if maybe I could fix this on my own, and travel I did, not just because I couldn't look brother completely in the eye, but because I truly wanted to. I could tell brother was worried when I left, and after he asked question after question about what was bothering me and I wouldn't budge, he sighed as if all the air and fight had gone out of him, and let me go with his blessing and a rib cracking hug. He told me that no matter what, he would be there waiting for me when I got back and I told him I would be back to visit as many times as I could. I got to see some great things, learn alchemy from another land, see sights that no Amestrian had ever seen… But that not-quite-nothing-but-almost-something still followed me with every step I took.

I had tried to fill it with other pretty faces, because if that something wasn't there with Winry, maybe there was some other girl that could be found that would fill the empty spaces. There were a lot of girls that had taken interest in me; I guess there's something romantic about the great exotic explorer from a far off land. But time and time again their smooth voices and feminine bodies, although amazing and sultry and mysterious and beautiful, didn't fill my senses the way I knew they should have. The depth of emotion, the fire that you were supposed to have, it wasn't there, and one relationship after another seemed to crumble at my feet.

I had read enough books at night when everyone was sleeping to know what I was supposed to feel. There wasn't a whole lot to do when stuck in a shell and unable to sleep when everyone else is slumbering peacefully in their beds. Brother never wanted me to read them, but I couldn't figure out why. I mean, I had read much worse things about the darkest aspects of Alchemy that there ever was, how a few poorly written romance novels could sully my innocence now was a little confusing and a little funny. I made sure to keep that part to myself though. I could tell that he meant well, he was my older brother after all, he had a responsibility to me, and after the second book I understood why he told me to keep away from them.

There was a lot of things people did in those books that I would never be able to do, the warmth of another body, the contentment one could feel when in the arms of their lover. They were things I would never experience in the metal shell I had. They spoke of this soul deep connection with another person, and a love that was so strong you would do anything, become anything for that other person. The only person I ever felt a connection like that to was brother, but it wasn't the same and I knew it. His was a feeling of family. What I wanted was the ability to share with another being the looks Ed had shared with Winry, it was that look the two got in each other's eyes when they looked at each other. The one that said they knew there was no one else but them in the world for those few quick moments of shared silence.

When I finally came back to Central a few years later, older, more travelled, and feeling weary beyond my years I almost felt defeated. Sure, I smiled and laughed and told everyone about all the sights I saw, the food I ate and even showed them the Alchemy I had learned. But through all my travels, the search I had made for myself had come up empty, and I felt the weight of that hole when I looked at everyone's smiling faces. I wasn't able to fix myself. And if I couldn't do it, if I still couldn't put a name to that emptiness, then what really was the point in it all? I was frustrated with it, frustrated with myself, and to make things worse, I felt broken. But it wasn't even a real breaking. If there was some kind of audible snap, if there was some kind of external pain to accompany the nothingness inside at least there could have been a doctor that could look at me, prescribe some kind of tablets maybe, then call him in the morning to see the progress that was made. There was no gaping wound to mirror it, nothing that was visible to the eye, and that was the most infuriating aspect of it all.

I saw the curious looks I was given at the celebration party of my return when I was asked by the soldiers what kinds of girls there were out in the world beyond. I tried to tell them as best I could, but the words stuck in my throat because wasn't that supposed to be the most interesting part? To meet all those exotic women and fill their beds while I learned of the cultures and languages of the countries I saw beyond Amestris? I didn't know. After the drinks and the food and the laughter I slipped out without too many people noticing. I know I probably shouldn't have. All these people were there to see me, to welcome me home, make me feel at peace; congratulate me on a job well done. But how could I accept those compliments and praise when I couldn't fix myself?

Then I saw him. The moment still stands out in my memory so bright it's like a beacon to my soul. I'm probably being a little melodramatic… But it… It was like there was a click inside and everything finally made sense.

I hadn't seen him in over three years. He hadn't changed much, although the pressed and starched uniform he was wearing had. He was leaning on the balcony, the same one I had slipped onto in order to get away from the laughter and the 'good job Al's' that sat in my stomach like a weight. He was staring off into the lights of Central, and he seemed so far away, or at least his eyes did, like he was still dreaming of that ever elusive future that he had always been striving for. Then he looked at me. Really looked, like it was the first time anyone ever had. Suddenly the far away city lights against the black of his hair made my fingers itch to know the softness of it, his skin glowed in the pale half moon, and that mouth of his that always seemed just shy of a lopsided smirk curved fully into a welcoming smile that was just a touch sad around the edges.

"The prodigal son finally returns I see."

"I guess so." I replied and his eyes were so intense and strong I had to look away. I leaned next to him and looked out at the city alongside him.

"Shouldn't you be inside?"

I shrugged. "I probably should, but…"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, not at all! It's good to see everyone, and it's great seeing brother and Winry again."

"But?" And he looked at me again with those dark eyes that seemed to look inside me, eyebrows raised, curious for the answer, but willing to let it lie if I shrugged it off with a laugh. Ed had warned me many a time not to trust the General, but I think the man had a bit of a soft spot for me, and whenever I had a question for him he always replied to me with honesty, or at least as much honesty as he could muster at the time. And wasn't I an Alchemist? Didn't I believe and live by the rules of equivalency? A bright laugh sounded, just barely reaching my ears. I could tell from the voice it was May. Another girl that I was supposed to be with, another person who I was supposed to have that connection with that wasn't there.

"General, have you ever felt like although nothing is wrong, it isn't right either?"

There was a long pause and I could feel his eyes searching my face, but I couldn't look anywhere other than the bright lights of Central far below the wide balcony. I was afraid to see the confusion and worry on his face, the possibility that he might think there really was something wrong with me, confirming my long time fears. "You've done some growing up since I saw you last I think." He said quietly. His words surprised me enough to look back and see that old smirk gracing his features, but there was warmth in it this time, and it made me warm on the inside. "And yes, I know what you mean. I've had that feeling since I got this position. Where things are right, but they're not. Takes some getting used to." His voice sounded bitter, like the drink he had taken a sip of had suddenly gone sour somewhere between the tasting and the swallowing.

"What if I don't want to get used to it? What if I want it gone?"

"Then you'll do it." It was such a simple answer, said with a hint of a shrug and a touch of surprise, like it was the most sensible answer in the world. "Al, listen to me. You're strong and you're brave, your body might not be able to take the same amount of punishment your metal one had, but you can still take a lot. You're also as brilliant as any top Alchemist or surgeon in this country, possibly even the entire world, and to top it off, you know what it is to fall and get back up again. If you want your answer, then you'll find it. And send me a postcard once you do."

He looked back out to the cityscape and took another sip of his finely aged scotch, I knew because I could smell it, permeating the cool air that brushed against the fine hairs of my wrist and ruffled my hair.

"Thanks General."

There was an almost amused sigh. "You're not part of the military, and neither is your brother. Call me Roy."

"Ok… Roy."

We ended up talking for hours that night, and I even got to hear him laugh, it was rich and masculine, and it showed a side of him that I had so rarely seen. His eyes seemed older, but there was an ease now that he didn't have before, like he was comfortable in his own skin, a problem that I found many people had.

I also found he was kind, sly with his words but still upfront about the way he felt about things. He had a strong belief in Amestris, that it really could recover from all the hardships its people had gone through time and time again. His hope and his belief infected me, and for the first time in a long while, the smile I felt wasn't forced or used to cover some unknown wound up. It was real.

Realization dawned like the rise of a summer sun at the end of the night, warming my soul and filling up that emptiness I thought would never come. It lifted the tiny hairs on the back of my neck, and the weight that was sitting in my stomach since I had gotten back into my body seemed to lift and change, soothing those tender places like a balm. It had all happened so quickly I almost didn't understand, but looking at Roy looking at me with that slow smile and easy grace, with his wind-mussed black hair and almond eyes. I knew.

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Thats right, another TBC situation. Reviews mean love.


	2. A House of Ice

Ok so here is chapter 2, I hope you all enjoy! Warnings for angst.

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Roy Mustang: 34

Central City, Late Spring, 1920

I had been so engrossed in my work for so long that it had become my life, my sole duty that I had promised to the men and women who pledged their loyalty to me. I would never complain about it, nor would I want to. This was the choice I had made, and I would see it through to the bitter end, no matter what the cost. Because I was a man of my word, and nothing would stop me from reaching my goal. Not even myself.

I can't remember the last time I had laughed, been on a date, or the last time I looked up from the stacks of paperwork that never seemed to disappear from my desk. More and more I felt my personal life slipping through my fingers until all there was left was lines upon lines of black written type against the stark whiteness of new paper, the slightly acrid smell of the ink in my fountain pen, the need for me to always be on my toes and know everything, and still say nothing, to play the games of the powerful and paranoid and somehow still come out on top. I tried time and again to create new relationships, to keep me from slipping between the cracks of myself, and relationships they were, but not the ones I used to have. Intel and secrets and plots and mind games. That's the relationships I built these days. Gathering information, making sure I knew everything about everyone, because if I had that, then my last step to get to the top would finally be accomplished.

Recently, more days than not I would end up sleeping on the couch in my office. I even had a spare change of clothes in the bottom drawer of my locked desk, accompanied by a small kit that held little things that Hawkeye had retrieved from my apartment. A razor, shaving cream, toothpaste and a toothbrush, a little black comb and a small vial of cologne. There really wasn't much point in heading home to an empty house when my life had become these four walls.

I could see Hawkeye was starting to worry about me. She never had to say it, but I could see it in her eyes. _You need to sleep_, they would say when she came in my office door in the mornings- and it was painfully clear to both of us that I hadn't left the room all night. _You need to eat too_, said the fleeting sharp look at my food when once again I had forgotten to eat my meager lunch that I rarely ate, and even rarer tasted.

In order to get real sleep without dreams of long ago wars and the haunted faces of children grown too soon plaguing me in the silence of night, I had taken up a habit of slipping a little something into my coffee cup. It didn't happen every night, but enough for me to make a habit of it. I found with enough alcohol the dreams became fuzzy, far away and easy to forget once a too bright sun dawned on my face through the office windows.

Somehow, out of my sight, my life had become a house of ice, cold and distant from the world around me. Ironic for the almighty Flame Alchemist. General Olivier would probably get a kick out of that comment, and so she should, even I laughed when the thought had crossed my mind. A bitter laugh that sounded far too biting and cold for it to even be called one.

But I had a duty to see this through! I had made a promise to the people of this country that it wouldn't become the warmongering place it had come to be known as, and I'd be damned if I didn't keep that promise- but belatedly I realized what upholding it would take from me. Equivalent exchange worked outside of Alchemy as well, because it seemed that for my country to gain the life it so deserved, I saw more and more I would need to give mine up.

The closer I got to my goal, the less my eyes strayed from my path, the more I tried to get there, the less I became myself. It was a horrible circle of energy I had been swirling in, and the loneliness I felt made me feel hollowed out from the inside, like parts of me had been scooped away. Was this how the Elric brother's Sensei felt? I didn't know. I could barely even remember her name anymore. The faces of family and friends blurred together, like the smear of fresh ink on paper, each word bleeding into the next.

And where was Maes? He was supposed to be here with me, helping to push me to the top, keeping me from losing myself with his easy laugh, kind sincerity and sharp intelligence. He always managed to do that. I was becoming resentful that he had left- ...left all too soon. Out of all of us, he deserved to die an old man in his bed the most, with the fruits of his life surrounding him when he took his final breath, not gunned down in cold blood, alone, with no one hearing the last whispered words he spoke. In a fit of rage I had taken the picture of him and I that sat on my desk and hurled it at the bookshelf, seeing the shards of glass shatter and fall to the ground, while the tears I refused to shed on the outside streamed in icy rivulets down my soul.

And then the great brothers Elric had returned to Central, reminding me of everything I used to be, and everything I now wasn't. I didn't want to see them. How could I, when I had fallen so very far from what I was? I had little choice in the matter though, because once an Elric, always an Elric, and no matter how old those two got, they would find trouble like a pig would find dirt.

Ed was the same as always, loud and brash and utterly abrasive, but there was a maturity in him now that he never used to have. And then Al…

Somehow, while I wasn't looking, he had turned into a man, with strong morals and convictions, a bright, easy laugh and an even easier smile, and before I knew it I was falling into those butterscotch eyes and wanting to curl up like a contented housecat.

With Ed, there was always the flash fire of standing to close to the sun, burned to a crisp with sharp words and sharper weaponry, but with Al… He set me on a burner, built me up to a slow rolling boil, set everything from warm to warmer and then hot.

The thought unsettled me. I had known him since a child, broken and searching desperately for the body he had so painfully lost. These were not thoughts that I should have been entertaining. _At all_. But with each meeting I had with him, I would forget about the psychological chess games that always were waiting for me, forget about the empty house with too little food in the fridge and feel a real smile on my lips that at first felt almost alien, because it had been so damned long ago that I had cracked one. I could be myself, and better yet, I _felt_ more like myself when in his presence than I had in years.

Maybe since the day he had left.

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Alphonse: 20

Central City, Late Spring, 1920

It didn't take long for trouble to find us. Or maybe it found brother, and I was just in the right place at the right time. He does have a habit of getting caught up in these kinds of things. An Alchemist wanted to take us down, prove once and for all the Elric brothers were not as invincible as we somehow came to be known for. If only they knew the real story. Since brother had given up his gift it was me that did most of the fighting with Alchemy, although brother was able to land the final blow and render the Alchemist unconscious. Once the smoke cleared and the enemy brought to justice we once again found ourselves put up in hospital.

Winry had to be called from the small apartment she and brother were sharing to take a look at Ed's leg, it got smashed up with a piece of rubble from the wall of some building, and she showed up with worry on her face and a wrench in her hand, ready to hug him, kiss him and brain him all at the same time. My injuries were far less severe. A bruise here, a few stitches there. Nothing too bad.

Since it was an Alchemist that picked the fight it was the General that came to take our statements, and hot on his heels was the ever present and always practical Hawkeye that wrote everything down. Roy's face was shuttered, every bit the commander and chief his title needed him to be.

"And who threw the first punch again?" He asked.

Ed winced when Winry tightened one of the bolts on his ankle joint and shifted his position on the small hospital cot. "What, you think it was us or something? Fuck Mustang! I never even saw that asshole before tonight."

"It looked as though he knew you. He even recognized Al, and not many people know him to look at him."

"I think it was brother he recognized first."

Mustang gave me a quick smile that was too full of sadness to really be called one, then turned to brother. "Truthfully I'm a little amazed Fullmetal," He let Ed's old title slip past his lips with an upward curve of a lip, like the nostalgia of it all was what brought his smile back, "you're back less than a month and already I have paperwork on my desk in regards to an entire city block being demolished."

"I thought you told me you were going to stay out of trouble." Winry said, wielding her wrench dangerously close to brother's bandaged head. He ducked, just barely missing the offending tool.

"I tried to! This one wasn't my fault!" He pleaded with both parties. "You better put that in your report Mustang!"

Winry huffed and went back to work on his leg and Mustang surprisingly didn't go in for another jab. He just nodded slowly.

"If you remember anything more about the incident," Hawkeye said as she flipped her notebook closed, "call the office and we'll make sure to add it to the report. You two get better."

Mustang shrugged back into his long black jacket and part of me was sad to see him go. "Don't worry, we will." I told her, and held the door open for both of them. "Thanks for coming down to see us Roy." I added softly as he walked by.

"I'm glad I could. Rest up, I'll see you soon." He pressed a comforting hand on my shoulder and squeezed before he left. I closed the door and turned back to find brother giving me a curious look.

"Since when did you ever call Mustang by his first name?" I was about to reply when Winry saved the day. She put her tools down with an audible thump and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Alright Ed, I've tuned up what I can, I'm gonna need you to take off your pants so I can get to the rest of it.

"I swear you take too much pleasure bossing me around." He replied but there was so much warmth in his words and his face that it was easy to see it wasn't an insult. I took that as my cue to leave and left the room.

There was someone still in the halls this late, leaning on the wall opposite the door I just stepped out of. It took me a moment to realize it was Roy. Hawkeye was nowhere to be seen, and he looked shaken and weary, guilty and subdued beyond anything I had ever seen on his face before. Dark smudges were under his eyes and deep lines cut into the lines around his mouth. When he saw me he tried to school his face into that mask he always hid behind, the pleasant one, but it looked brittle and wan.

"Are you ok?" I asked, resting a hand on his shoulder in concern.

His smile faded, changing over into surprise and disbelief. "Am I ok? Al, you nearly died tonight. You should be concerned with yourself not me."

"I think I've proven my own ability of worrying about more than one person at a time."

"Yes. I guess you have." His eyes cut away from me, staring cold black against the almost white tile of the hospital hallway. He was still so tense, and the shoulder under my hand was hard as wood.

"Talk to me." I said softly, but still giving him the possibility of stepping away from the question. He sighed and ran a slightly scarred hand through his hair.

"You only just got your body back a few years ago, and because of my negligence it was almost taken away again, this time with your life as well. I should have taken better care of the situation. Given you a detail so that you could have been safer."

"Roy, you can't protect us every step of the way. Besides, I'm smart enough to get out of situations like that. You even told me so yourself if I so remember."

He smiled again, a vain attempt to cover the guilt he most assuredly felt. "I know you can. But I still feel responsible-"

"Don't."

I placed a hand on his mouth to still the words, and the sentence died on my fingers. His eyes were pleading with me, begging me without words to understand. The look pained me, more than I wanted to admit and I slid my hand from his mouth into his hair, smoothing down the black mess and marveling at its softness and trying to sooth away the tension in his shoulders.

It wasn't enough I realized, I wanted more than just the simple touch of camaraderie from him, more than the squeeze of a shoulder or a clap on the back. My hand slid down to cup his cheek, feeling the soft sandpapery feel of almost stubble, and he ever so slightly moved into it, closing his eyes in bliss and breathing deep into the side of my thumb.

His eyes flew open, like all of a sudden he remembered himself and grabbed my wrist.

"Al…" He said quietly. A warning if there ever was one. But I was done with foolish warnings, and to tell the truth, I'd never been that good at listening to them, it must be in the genes. I came closer, enough to feel his breath on my lips, the warmth of his body against mine. Anticipation, fear and the need to no longer be alone burned through me.

"Will you let me?" I whispered, just loud enough for it to reach his ears, the words tickling against his lips.

"I don't know if I should."

"Why not?"

He hesitated, breath caught in his throat and he bit his lip, but he never moved away from me. "Do I really need to tell you all the reasons? I'm over ten years your senior, you should be with someone who can give you everything you could ever want, and I don't know if I can do that. You deserve the best Al, and I'm not the best choice you can make."

"Are those all your reasons?" I asked sadly, a tightness in my chest and a burn in the back of my eyes at the loss I could already feel. I knew I could walk away from him if I needed to, and I would be able to carry on, but I wanted – no I needed to know the answer. He looked at me again, and the tension in his body came back full force, as if he was holding himself back with every ounce of strength he had.

"And because if I kiss you I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

No words had ever had such an effect on me, and each syllable crashed into my soul, ringing in the silence of the empty hallway.

I kissed him. Right there in the middle of the Central Hospital Intensive Care hallway, with humming fluorescent lights, once upon a time white tiles, and the black night outside streaming broken shadows across our faces. For the first time in years that hole inside me wasn't gnawing away, and something right clicked into place. I felt like Roy had figured me out, broken me down, and remade me right then and there into something new, something treasured and special and only for him.

His concern for not being able to stop kissing me was actually unfounded worry. After a few soft kisses a hoarse, sharp clearing of a throat broke our hold on each other to find a night nurse that gave us a mischievous smile, then opened brother's door to check on his progress.

I'm sure Roy's face was as red as mine, but he rested his head against my shoulder in order to keep his embarrassment at being caught to himself. "You're brother's going to kill me."

I could see it now, brother actually losing it and finally trying to kill Roy for real at the possibility that he and I were something more than friends. I hesitated. "Tell you what, I'll deal with brother."

Roy lifted his head and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "And what will I have to do for this thrilling bout of heroism?"

"I thought that would be obvious. You're going to take me out to dinner."

He laughed again, and left me with another soft kiss before he slipped away into the night.

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~TBC~

You guys know the deal, reviews are love, please tell me what you think, even if it's tough to hear I can take it like a (wo)man. Please no flames though.

~Symphonyofsilence


	3. The Office

Alphonse Elric: 20

Central City, Summer, 1920

Brother and I were always honest with each other, always shared what was on each other's minds. We had lived so long side by side that it had become second nature just to lean over and talk to him when the mood struck or when something was bothering me. But I didn't tell Brother about Roy, or at least not right away, although I did give him clues enough to know that there was someone who I had taken an interest in. He was happy, and wanted to meet the mysterious someone. I wasn't sure how that would go exactly, I wanted him to be able to accept who I had chosen without him blowing up, and blow up he most assuredly would do. I needed a plan to tell brother, because telling him would be a Very Big Deal.

It wasn't because of the gender I had chosen to be with that kept me silent; I knew that no matter what I would be accepted and loved by him. But those first few weeks of being with Roy were just so special, magical and right that I didn't want to ruin it. I wanted to savor each and every touch of his hand against mine, the softness in his eyes when he looked at me, the smell of his skin right behind his ear, the way my name would be whispered against my lips when he kissed me, the feeling of utter contentment that seeped into my bones when his body fit so perfectly within my arms.

I had never really thought it would be a man that I would choose, and coming to terms with that was something that took a little time. But once the realization struck I felt… Awake. Alive. Exhilarated. Like my life was no longer in limbo and all I needed to do was stretch my fingers upwards and I could truly touch the vastness of the sky abovend harness that everlasting source of power for myself. I knew my life would be more complicated with this turn of events, especially a being with a General in a Military faction that although didn't outright deny homosexual relationships, definitely looked down upon them. In order to make sure Roy stayed on his narrow path to the top we needed to be discreet, and I was learning to deal with that day by day. Something I found difficult to live with too because once I had figured it out inside my head all I wanted to do was shout from the rooftops everything I felt.

Contentment born from self acceptance wrapped its gentle arms around me, and I was more than happy to find those arms attached to a tall, dark General in the Amestrian Military. His smile was still sad, and his eyes still had the weariness of a man who had seen too much in too short of a timeframe, but when he was looking at me, the problems surrounding him seemed to dissolve from his face a little bit. Whenever that happened I could feel the smile on my own face grow and change to something warm and happy, tender and kind. He had explained to me without words how much he needed me, and I found I needed him just as much, although maybe not in the same capacity, but the urge to be near him was always itching just under my skin. An itch only he could scratch.

It was Hawkeye that found out first. I had stopped by Roy's office after a morning lecture at one of the Universities. They had wanted me to speak about the culture of Xing, and so I had gladly gone and told all those bright students everything I had seen, and even brought a few things with me when I spoke, like the outfit Ling had me wear because it was the traditional clothing one had to wear when in the presence of an Emperor (although I didn't mention that he made me pay for the thing) and I enjoyed it, more than I had expected to. Teaching those students, although not much older than I was, came naturally and I found myself wondering if that was something I wanted to do. It also reminded me of all the things I had yet to see, the lands and countries just waiting to be discovered.

I entered his office and dropped the bag of things on the floor, then gave him a quick kiss and a flash of a smile.

"Well, this is a nice surprise." He said, dropping the pen in his hand and wrapping it around my wrist to bring me closer. The touch sent a tingle up my arms like the crackle of a transmutation.

"I had a lecture at the university a couple blocks away, I thought I would come visit you."

"And how did it go?" The tired look seemed to fade from his eyes when he asked me.

"Really well, everyone was hanging on every word I said, and I was able to show everyone that the countries beyond Amestris weren't scary or full of weird people."

"Except for Xing's Emperor that is."

"I didn't get into too much about that. I think he might need a separate class entirely."

"It's probably a good decision, you might scare the entire country away from travelling if they knew the leader of our neighboring country couldn't pay a dinner bill to save his life." He stood up from his chair, stretching his hands above his head and working out the cricks from sitting at a desk for hours on end. "Do you think it's something you might end up doing? Teaching I mean."

"It's definitely a possibility. I still want to travel a bit more before I decide on a career."

"I see." The words held weight, and I could see thoughts churning in his head, thinking about that future of his and wondering if I'd be in it. I didn't have the answers for him, I barely knew myself, I was only twenty and still in love with life and learning and the world in general. I didn't know how to tell him my worries or fears about the scarily large possibility of us walking down a road I couldn't see the end of, or the blurry future we had together, and I couldn't put more worry on his already heavy laden shoulders. What I did know, was that in the here and now, he was all I wanted.

"But before that happens…"

I pulled him close, warm arms wrapped around my waist and my hands tangled into the short hairs at the back of his head. Kissing Roy was always better than any food or drink I could consume. It was like swallowing fire, hot and searing and heating every part of me.

"Sir I have the files General Treevers asked—" In my haste of coming to see Roy I had forgotten to completely close the door, and there Hawkeye stood in the doorway, the perfect look of wide eyed shock painted across her features. A bizarre mixture of relief and abject fear tore through me because it would have been so easy, so simple for someone else to have walked in and caught our quiet moment together, and Roy's work could have possibly been set back by my forgetfulness.

I don't think I had ever been so relieved to see the Lieutenant in my life, although I'm pretty sure her ideas on that differed quite a bit from mine. I was certain that if she wasn't holding a stack of files, her hand would be at her mouth to stifle her gasp. But Roy didn't even bat an eye, didn't move away from me as if we were guilty teenagers caught by a stern parent, although I could feel every muscle tense and harden with unvoiced concern under my hands.

"Thank you Lieutenant, can you place them on the desk? I'll have a look at them once I'm done."

"O-of course sir." She replied, and as if working on orders alone, she placed the files carefully on one of the few empty places on the desk, and left the office. This time the door closed properly.

"Sorry I didn't close the door." I said in genuine apology. Roy waved a hand in dismissal.

"Don't be, I'm not. People will eventually find out about us if we decide to pursue this." It was phrased almost as a question, with the upward rise of his voice on the last word. I leaned myself against the desk and took his hands in mine. I could feel the scar tissue on each palm and traced it with my fingers.

"I like the idea of us."

His face softened and his body finally started to relax again. "I do too. Although I have a feeling I'm going to get an earful from Hawkeye later on."

"Just tell her I seduced you."

"I could see it now: The youthful adventurer seduces the distant General."

"We could turn it into a radio show. The ratings would go through the roof."

"Maybe if I had more time on my hands I could write it. I'm surprised you didn't pull away." Roy said with a squeeze of his hands in mine.

"Why should I? I don't feel bad about being with you." I leaned up and kissed him once more before standing up properly and taking a look at the little clock above one of the many bookshelves that lined his office walls. "It's almost lunch. I could treat you this time?"

"With all the meals I've eaten with you I'm sure I will end up fat." He said dejectedly, but the corners of his mouth lifted fractionally at the corners, and I had no idea why, but it made me ridiculously happy to see it.

"You won't get fat. Besides, you need a little meat on your bones." I slid my hands around his waist, where my hands could slide far too close together. He always kept his attitude the same, even when he was in the throes of the most stressful situations; it was the typical Mustang control that I had always known him for. But his body took the brunt of it. At this angle I could see how lean he had become, not quite gaunt, but if it were to keep up he would start looking like that, and soon. "I bet you didn't even bring a lunch with you today."

"I did so, and I will have you know it's a delicious sandwich."

"That you'll forget to eat because you have so much work to do."

"A General's work is never done." He sighed dramatically and pulled me closer.

"Just come with me, that way I know you're eating, and you'll get a break from all this paperwork." I kissed the side of his neck and whispered, even though there was no one to keep the secret from, "I might even throw in desert."

I could feel his teasing smile against my neck. "With comments like that your good boy identity will be irreparably shattered in my eyes."

"Forever? Well that won't do."

"Mmm… I know." The rumble of his voice carried through my chest, making me shiver with the sudden realization of how close we were, pressed tight to one another, chest to chest and hip to hip. I had grown since I had seen him all those years ago, and it was startling to find that we were the same height.

"Tell you what, if that ever happens you can still call me a good boy… Just in private."

It was rare, if ever that the great General Roy Mustang blushed, and I had found that making the man's face brighten a personal vice. Seeing that soft rose color dusted across the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheeks, his eyes go wide and the hollows in his cheeks look less severe was almost breathtaking in its contrast to the person I had grown up knowing. It said that he was a man, not a tightly controlled and put together General like he so often showed the world. And I think he needed it as much as I wanted to give it. There was also something about knowing I could affect him to such an extent that filled me with glee and knowing this had spurned me into saying things and doing things just to see his face go pink. Sure enough that pretty flush rose up in his cheeks, and he opened and closed his mouth like a landed fish twice before he was able to get his voice to work.

"_Alphonse_!"

I couldn't help but laugh, and it bubbled up into my throat and out of my mouth before I could stifle the sound. I took his hand and started walking for the door.

"Coming?"

* * *

~TBC~

~symphonyofsilence


End file.
